Tuesday, November 14, 2006

An open book

To me, a book without any markings on its cover is like an open whorehouse window to a peeping tom - irresistible. I just have to take a look inside. Big mistake. Pulling one such book from the bookshelves in a book store last weekend, I inadvertently fumbled it and it dropped to the floor - well, actually, on to the toes of a man standing next to me. The book helpfully opened itself to reveal a graphic picture of two naked women cavorting on a trampoline. In bold, black letters next to it was the word 'Lesbians' (presumably just in case the picture didn't make that point absolutely clear and one might make the mistake of thinking one was studying a book about trampolining techniques). Red-faced, I rushed to pick up the book and ran out of the store. Only when I was half way home did I realise I still had the book in my hot little hands. What did I do with it? What could I do with it? I donated it to a charity shop of course.

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11 Comments:

Blogger Stacy Dawn said...

OMG, I had to turn sideways so as not to spit out my drink at my computer screen.

Annie...you are one crazy lady!

7:05 pm  
Blogger Annie said...

Er, thanks, Stacy, I think.

8:19 pm  
Blogger Eva said...

Annie! You stole a book! And didn't even read it! Shame on you.
I wonder what the charity shop clerk(s) think of your taste in readng material. I trust you drove halfway across the county and found one you're unlikely to frequent again.

10:00 pm  
Blogger India said...

What could you do with it?

Give it to your mother in law for Christmas? Donate it to the school book fair? Or perhaps you could have gone back and paid for it, you shameless criminal!

To make amends you must make a generous donation to the Distressed Authors' Fund. Shall send you my bank details forthwith.

10:26 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Annie, I thought I saw your picture on Crime Watch last week!!!!

Amanda (who now understands quite how frustrating it is NOT to be able to sign into blogger!!!)

3:01 pm  
Blogger Sue aka MsCreativity said...

ROFLOL!!!! I never know what I'm going to find next when I read this blog - I LOVE it!

Sue :-)

6:45 pm  
Blogger Annie said...

Look you lot, I didn't steal anything - at least not intentionally. In fact, when you think about it, I did a lot of people a good turn. I saved the man next to me in the book store further embarrassment; I saved the checkout woman any embarrassment at all; and the charity shop will make money out of my donation (next county, Eva? Try next country). So, I really don't see why I need to atone for my selfless acts and generosity. As for Iona's chosen charity - being a distressed author myself and believing strongly in the old adage that charity begins at home, I have just donated a £20 note to myself. Happy now?

Annonymous Amanda - I can't believe you've had the same trouble as me. Do you think we've been infected somehow?

7:50 pm  
Blogger Annie said...

Sue - I just read your comment after I'd posted my own comment above. I am so glad that someone round here has a sense of humour.

7:52 pm  
Blogger Annie said...

Iona? Who's Iona? Sorry, little typo there. Obviously I meant India. Iona was, in fact, the name of the woman who served me in the charity shop in Scotland. And, I might add, she seemed rather pleased with the book. I think she saw it as a good way of keeping warm in the winter - trampolining I mean.

8:02 pm  
Blogger Annie said...

I could keep this post going all night on my own.

8:03 pm  
Blogger Sharon J said...

Iona, India, Imogen - all these Is. No wonder things become confusing.

I'd have read the book before donating it. For research purposes, obviously. You just never know when you might need that kind of information.

3:02 am  

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