Friday, June 23, 2006

Anyone for Tennis Players?

OK, so having failed dismally to come up with any more good things about the world cup (though Amanda did make the point about the beer, I suppose) I'm going to turn my attention to Wimbledon.

I have to confess at the outset that I myself have the hand eye co-ordination of an amoeba and the athletic prowess of a garden snail, so my interest in these sporting events is purely aesthetic. Which brings me to today's question, ladies...

Why are tennis players generally sexier than footballers?

Obviously there are a few notable exceptions, but as a general rule of thumb I think it works. But why? Could it be something to do with the heroic solitude of the two opponents, facing each other in some kind of modern-day hand-to-hand duel? There's a personal element to the whole event that makes it feel like a matter of masculine pride and honour rather than just a game. (And a rather banal game too, when you think about it.)

Men playing football and taking it very seriously just look like a bunch of fiercely overexcited six-year olds, but the dark, brooding focus on the lean faces of the tennis players is damned sexy. Perhaps it's also the way the camera zooms and lingers, so you can see the beads of sweat on their foreheads and the way their throats move as they swallow. The white kit certainly helps, I think. So much more upmarket-- and flattering to a summer tan-- than all that lurid polyester with its chavtastic brand advertising. Footballers with long hair look like cruise-liner singers. Tennis players with long hair look like beautiful pirates. And tennis has a sort of slow-motion grace and muscle-rippling elegance that does it for me every time.

What I'm really trying to say is don't be surprised if you don't hear much from me over the next 2 weeks. I'm calling it research. So there.

(Oh, and by the way, if anyone would like to make a case-- in the name of balance and fairness-- for the sex appeal of any other sportsmen, we'd all be more than delighted to debate it. Golfers anyone??)

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11 Comments:

Blogger Stacy Dawn said...

Trust me...thanks to my sports-aholic husband I've seen many a man in sports uniform. Best looking?? Beach volleyball--sometimes less is more **ggg** .

4:01 pm  
Blogger Amanda Ashby said...

Sigh, my other favourite sport is rugby so I'm not even going to try and debate the sexiness of those boys. Broken nose or cauliflower ear anyone?

6:06 pm  
Blogger Eva said...

Well, there's my step aerobics instructor: http://www.fitnessdavid.com/indexB.htm.

6:31 pm  
Blogger India said...

Beach volleyball... mmm...
Not something I'm going to get much chance to spectate here in landlocked Cheshire. You'll just have to enjoy it on my behalf, stacy.

Amanda, in my experience rugby boys use the same handling skills on their women as they do on the pitch (charge and grab). But if you're looking for a hero who can down 12 pints at a sitting and knows the rude version to 47 hymns, rugby's definitely the game to look to. If you absolutely had to-- like because your life depended on it (I'm struggling to picture an exact scenario, but never mind) who would you choose? Rugby or football?

Eva, the secret of your sveltness is now uncovered....

6:46 pm  
Blogger Amanda Ashby said...

OMG. That is like a totally cruel question, Imogen! I do love the rugby - and you can learn a lot of handy life skills from watching it - such as 'go in low, elbows out' which I've employed at many a Next sale. But if forced to chose, I'd have to say football. Or do I mean rugby? No, no, definitely football. I think...

Hmm. Next question please.

9:35 pm  
Blogger Stacy Dawn said...

in my experience rugby boys use the same handling skills on their women as they do on the pitch (charge and grab).

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

1:48 am  
Anonymous Sharon J said...

Anglers. Especially those who fish on the canals. It's the solidity of the copious abdomen as it rises above an old leather belt, the owner of which is perched upon a canvas stool, pendulous buttocks drooping to each side as he swigs on his Carling Black Label. Or Stella, depending on which age group he happens to belong to. What could possibly be sexier?

3:27 am  
Blogger India said...

Sorry Amanda, not good enough. For the full 10 points you have to give reasons for your answer...

Sharon I so cannot wait to read your book. Is Leo a canal angler? (eeeww. That sounds like a euphemism for something utterly depraved.)

10:02 am  
Blogger India said...

Sharon, were you really up and blogging at 3.27 am??

10:08 am  
Blogger Annie said...

Sorry I'm a little late coming in here, been doing a bit of research of my own and can't believe nobody has offered up sumo-wrestling as THE sport for sexy men. An alpha hero every one - and something for everyone - the abdomen and buttocks of a canal angler, the brooding concentration of a tennis player, the long hair of a footballer(usually held back by a lovely satin ribbon), the charge and grab of a rugby player, and - to crown it all - the super-absorbent nappy of a supersized baby. What more could a girl ask for?

12:21 pm  
Blogger Sharon J said...

Leo wouldn't dream of going canal angling! I wouldn't mind having a ride on his narrowboat, though!

Yes, I was up that late, and I was indeed blogging. What a sad life I have.

1:09 pm  

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