Wednesday, February 27, 2008

One size fits all

To what garments does this little phrase apply? Hats perhaps? Scarves? Maybe gloves?

Certainly not swimsuits.

In anticipation of fun in the sun come March, yesterday I took courage in hand and ventured into the swimsuit department of the nearest department store to the office. In the brief space of thirty minutes, I climbed into at least thirty swimsuits — all the time my lunch break would allow.

It was quite a feat if I do say so myself. Fortunately, I found a suit — the only one that fit properly, in fact. Some showed too much cleavage, others too much bottom. Many didn't fit my rather long torso, resulting in a comical display. Often the sizing followed no pattern whatsoever. Tankinis proved a complete disaster, with some fitting on the bottom and not on the top, and vice versa. Prints that appeared enticing on the rack looked absolutely hideous on, and a surprising number of solids proved boring to the extreme. Plus, I had a devil of a time figuring out the jargon: phrases such as tummy-tamer, bust-enhancer, fantasizer...remember when you were twelve years old and everything fit!

Oh, for the good ol' days.

No wonder many of the heroines we read about are slim, beautiful and blessed with an extensive wardrobe. We spend so much of our day figuring out what to wear, it's a relief not to have to worry about it when curled up with a good book. Hurray for the perfect size ten (or is it eight these days?)!

I wager finding a matching wrap should prove infinitely easier.

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3 Comments:

Blogger Brown said...

I think buying a swim suit ranks right up there with buying a pair of jeans.

Hurrah on perfect heroines and living vicariously through their raw silk dresses and bikinis...although, am just starting a cozy mystery with a size 14 heroine...

3:16 am  
Blogger India said...

Personally I think the Edwardians had it about right, with glorious neck-to-knee frills and flounces which left not an inch of flesh on show. So what if you couldn't actually swim in them??

10:58 am  
Blogger Eva said...

I'd be sure to drown in flounces and frills. Even walking on the street in flounces and frills is fraught with peril (for me at least).

Oh, yes, jeans - that's another tough one. Shudder.

I think I may try to find a matching wrap/skirt at lunch today. Wish me luck!

5:25 pm  

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